About the crazy.....

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GA, United States
Just a southern gal from Georgia who has a real problem with baking. And by problem I mean, I can't help myself! :D I am married to the love of my life, he puts up with me so well! I am mother to the most adorable, yet tough little boy. And mother to a most beautiful full of attitude, little girl. I can't forget about our 4-legged family members! Our terrier Lucy, Our Great Dane Milo, our mutty mutt Ellie and our cats Abbey and Sammy! I LOVE to bake and I am trying to start up my own cupcakery. I love vintage anything! My blog started out as a blog for my cupcakes, now it has turned into an everyday into the life of "ME" blog. Life is not perfect and wonderful all the time, you will hear me gripe, bahahaha, it isn't all cupcakes. Just a heads up per say. :D Hope your reading experience is enjoyable! And please be sure to comment, follow, and grab my button!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

30 days of truth- Day 3

Day 3-  Something you have to forgive yourself for.

  Wow, there are so many things that I beat myself up for. Only one really came to mind and stuck. NO JUDGING, if you do not agree with what I am about to tell you, Please do not tell me.
When I was 16, my boyfriend and I (now my husband) got pregnant. We were in NO place to have a baby, I didn't have a job, he was working for his dad. I was living with my mom and grandfather at the time, NO WAY, could I have had that baby. First of all, my dad would have literally killed me, my family would have disowned me. Not pretty. I love my family, I never wanted to disappoint them. it just happened. Now keep in mind, we were having protected sex, and I was on birth control.

  Come to find out, something failed. So, there I was, stuck. What should I do? My mom asked me if we were having sex, of course I said NO, and then stupid me had to tell her a week later I was prego. That sucked! HAHA. I did not tell him. I know, horrible. But I felt it was my decision, my choice, my body. Besides, who knew what he was going to say, and I didn't wanna hear it. So, off to the clinic I went. I received some counseling, and some meds. You can see where this is going. For those of you who care, I was literally 3 weeks prego when I did this. And to be 100% honest, I was fine with the decision I had made. It was hard, especailly for a 16 year old, and for one who has always wanted a family. Just not then.

   I fought with myself back and forth over this whole mess. It was heart-breaking and brutal. And you cannot judge someone, about something they did, until you have been in their shoes. I just want to say that never again would I do this, I now know, all children are children of God. The pain was unspeakable. I told him that I had to have it done b/c it was in my tubes. He felt awful, but relieved, I believe. But to this day, I still wonder sometimes, what if. And don't worry, he foudn out the truth, and we didn't speak for a couple days. But, knowing what all I have been through now, there's NO WAY, I could have gone through that with a child. But that is another story.

2 comments:

Busy Working Mama said...

That must have been a very difficult time in your life. I cannot imagine going through it at any point.

Duane Scott said...

i love these honest posts you are doing. They are not only fun to read, but a great idea!