30 Days of Truth Days 12-19

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.


I rarely get complimented on myself physically. I used to, back when I weighed 92 pounds, but now I am a smidge heavier after 2 kids, and NOTHING. Not even from my hubby. We all know men are visual creatures, so this is not surprising to me, sucks, but not surprising. And of course, being the loving hubby that he is, will say "You look fine" "Your not fat". Ok, well that is good, but "Fine" does not mean "Beautiful" or even "Pretty". So there.



Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

You know, I can't really relate to this question. I love music, but I don't think any of it has gotten me through a bad time.



Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Mom,

I used to look up to you and commend you for taking care of twins as a single mother. When we would get our lousy child support from dad, I would feel bad. There were times when we had no power, and it sucked. Hardly any food in the fridge, you were a mess at times, and we had to parent and take care of you. But we got through them. I have always considered you to be a hero to me, you helped me through some extremely bad times, and for that I am eternally grateful, and still think of a lot. I appreciate you living with us and helping out with the kids and keeping me company. BUT. Mom, you kind of let me down. Now that I am grown and have children of my own, I don't understand why half the things that happened, did. I would do WHATEVER it took to keep power on for my kids, make sure there is PLENTY of food on the table, in the pantry, in the fridge. I do not know what has happened to you, when did you become so selfish? You never wanna play with the kids unless it is at home, you don't want to do anything THEY want to do. If you don't want to do it, you don't. This isn't about YOU, it is about THEM. You complain that you don't have enough money to buy them things, yet you have plenty for cigarettes. You tell me that you quit smoking, even though, I know you haven't. You lie all the time, over the dumbest things! I have to guilt trip you into doing anything fun, and the kids beg for you to do things and you blow them off. One day, they won't have me to cushion it for them, they will have minds of their own and they will know. Like when you told B that you didn't want to go to chuck-e-cheese for his birthday, that you would go next time (you said that a week earlier about chuck-e-cheese then) and you told him that you would make him your special one and make sure you spent his birthday with him. HELLO?!!? YOU LIvE HERE, OF COURSE YOUR GOING TO BE HERE FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. And did you do anything special with him?! NO?! Do not manipulate my 5 year old!  Mom, why do you act so stupid? Your not at all. Why did you steal money from my kids piggy banks? Why are you so lazy? Why do you not think enough about yourself to give a shit about your life? The doctor says: "Stop smoking or you will die or end up on oxygen for the rest of your life" and Ladybug is ALLERGIC to cigarette smoke, yet you STILL SMOKE!!!! Did you know that you are ONLY 45.... 45!!!!!!! Do you want to be on oxygen right now? I make cupcakes for my kids, and the next day they are gone! And I get to tell them that I will make more and I won't dare tell them that their NANA ate them all, couldn't bother leaving some for them!  Ugh. When did you get this way? We fight everyday. You spill things, and you don't clean them up, I have to do it, and I am the child. I assumed you would do these things, guess I inherited my OCD cleaning from Dad, THANK GOD. I love you and appreciate you, but it is hard to respect you. You get angry when the kids won't listen to you. Do you know why? Because to them, and myself, your no longer an adult. Your a child. You whine and yell and are so dramatic. Your a hypochondriac, and I cannot understand all of this?! What happened to you?



Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
My husband.




Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Caffeine.



Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Not sure about this one.



Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

I'm conflicted. I have gay friends, and I want them to be happy, but I am also a christian woman, and I know that it is still wrong. Although, I don't think any less of them, at all, it is ok with me. See what I mean? Conflicted.



Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Religion: Tough. I attend church, and believe in God. But I feel that church is gearing more towards making money than anything now a days. Politics:  I LOATHE OBAMA.



Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Well My dad was an alcoholic, so I do not allow it in my house, and no longer drink it at all. I did when I was 18-20, no longer. Drugs, hubby is a recovering addict and I feel very strongly about them. I actually lost a good friend recently, because her hubby is on drugs and she has chosen to ignore this and trust him, and I disagree and think she is being stupid and naive. I did not want him coming to my house, near my children, and I did not want to be at their house any longer. Therefore, we are not friends. But do keep in mind, he has been a complete jerk to me, and I helped him and his family out. So. Goodbye to you. :)